[Debasement is the most interesting word to me these past 24 hours or so. I remember a time back in 2014 when my sense of self and purpose had utterly collapsed — one of those situations where you gather a critical mass of expectations and desire which then, when rejected, flash into gravity well. All the structures one builds, elaborate and ramshackle, come crashing down. From the top floor we’d built up to, down to the very bottom. To the room below the bottom. To the basement. To the revealed trapdoor (under the rug) which opens into — endless void. At this stage, there are no more structures to fall into. One has the sensation of falling, but this too falls away in time. Without air, there is no resistance. Without reference, there is no movement. It turns into suspension. You cannot see even yourself. Until the self dissolves entirely. Now, this all may sound like it could be an ideal state for meditation practices; but when ill-prepared, it is devastating. And it is why I think this place is often described as a hell realm — frequently among the lowest. Sometimes eternal and inescapable. I recall learning of a similar place in 12th century Chinese hell scrolls like the Ten Kings of Hell. In Diyu (地獄) there were deep caverns of blackness where souls wandered eternally in blindness. Some descriptions of Avīci — a famous bottom-layer of Indian (also Chinese) Buddhist Naraka/hell — spoke of a place so deep there was no light at all — endless lightlessness, where torment is without relief, endured without pause. Then Tāmisra (‘Darkness’) and Andhatāmisra (‘Utter Darkness’), of the 28 Naraka. In the Zoroastrian tradition, we have Duzakh, another place-of-no-light — suffocating, filled with smoke and shadow. And, one of my favorites: al-Hāwiyah in Islam. Usually described at the worst, deepest, seventh layer of hell, al-Hāwiyah (‘the abyss’; ‘the pit’; ‘the void’) is pitch black, entirely without light. Here, one gets crushed beneath a mountain with their face down, entirely immobilized under impossible pressure. We have spent much time with the darkness of the void; and yet, perhaps what is most compelling to me about these deepest darkest hell realms is that they are also often described as fiery. Fiery and dark, void, lightless. The Quran calls Hāwiyah a mother; where the kindled light will embrace the sinner as a mother embraces their child. This was also my experience. At the very base of that place, there erupted a frenzy of warm gold light which cradled me. Not the fire of burning, but the flames of rebirth~ ] Received 9/26/2025 | 2:35-38am
Companion Missive #12 - (UN)CONSCIOUS HEART (7/16/2023)
Listen to the Recitation:
DEBASEMENT
The ground has fallen out
From under us, a way further down
To what lies beneath the basement:
Something very dark, bottomless
Void place — suspended falling
No wind, no frame of reference
Nothing in reach, size becomes moot
Temperature, texture, tone —
Escaping beyond; all these self-proclaimed
Arahants, demeaning their devotees
A respected elder says, do not follow bliss;
Pursue suffering. As much suffering as possible!
Their comrades nod solemnly, moaning
In agreement, or — is it acquiescence
Which debases us so, that the fire seems dim
Within. The fire is not dim, nor can it dim;
You need not stoke it, but see it
Live in remembrance of the flame
Which lit up the world
And enveloped the darkness of that place
Until the fire united with it
And gave birth to you.
